Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Good Things to Come

I had been feeling a little depressed these last few days. I was in a real slump. My sweet husband came home from school yesterday to a tired and emotional wife. Poor guy. He was very patient with me though and was quick to offer help.

I tried so hard to pull myself up and attend to the needs of our little family but I was on the verge of tears with every effort. There wasn't really one particular thing that was distressing me, it was a bunch of little things all piled on top of each other. It was the fruit of self doubt, thoughts of inadequacy, comparing my weaknesses to all the strengths of the women around me and the typical fears of a mom for the future of her kids.

My children could feel and see the emotion in my face yesterday and seemed to mirror the anxiety and tension toward each other. Shouting matches could be heard throughout the house, which only created a perpetual problem of contention. I felt guilty with each heated exchange they had with each other, feeling as if I started the whole dilemma.

"If this is what I'm teaching my children, what good is it for me to be home with them?" I began to ask myself. "It seems they hardly ever listen to me and when they do all they hear is negative."

My husband encouraged to go to bed early and suggested I'd feel better after a good night's rest. He was right. I needed to step away for a moment because I wasn't seeing clearly at all.

This morning I woke up to find a new video on Mormon Messages called "Good Things to Come". I cried all the way through it. It was everything I needed to hear. It was so refreshing and I felt a renewed hope in my future.

God doesn't expect me to be a perfect mom. I know that. And He doesn't expect me to be happy and sweet all the time either. He knows I'll have hard days. But he doesn't want me to give up, He expects me to keep trying and to trust in Him! Being a stay-at-home mom isn't easy and it's hard to see what good is really being done but I know that my family needs me and God will help me in all that is required of me for good.

"Everyone of us has times when we need to know things will get better. My declaration is that that is precisely what the Gospel of Jesus Christ offers us, especially in times of need." ..... This is how the video starts out and then Elder Holland shares a personal story when he was discouraged in his own life and how the Lord helped him through. Watch the video here, so inspiring it's a must see!!!


RGG said...

Hi Alicia
Close your eyes;take a deep cleansing breath,wrap your arms around yourself real tight,feel the warmth and love I am sending your way,consider yourself hugged. I know what you are feeling, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today,and practically fell off of it:)LOL
I asked myself as I was driving in to work, is all of this really worth it,does our Heavenly Father care about our bad days, our excuses,our weaknessness? Yes he does. I have been thinking about the conference talk Sister Julie Beck gave:“And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit”
She said: "In the past year I have met thousands of Latter-day Saint women in many countries. The list of challenges these sisters face is lengthy and sobering. There are family troubles, economic tests, calamities, accidents, and illnesses. There is much distraction and not enough peace and joy. Despite popular media messages to the contrary, no one is rich enough, beautiful enough, or clever enough to avoid a mortal experience."

"The questions sisters ask are serious and insightful. They articulate uneasiness about the future, sorrow for unrealized expectations, some indecision, and diminished feelings of self-worth. They also reflect a deep desire to do what is right."
"There has grown in me an overwhelming testimony of the value of daughters of God. So much depends on them. In my visits with the sisters, I have felt that there has never been a greater need for increased faith and personal righteousness. There has never been a greater need for strong families and homes. There has never been more that could be done to help others who are in need. How does one increase faith, strengthen families, and provide relief?1 How does a woman in our day find answers to her own questions and stand strong and immovable against incredible opposition and difficulty?"
You have probably read the entire talk, but she did give 3 answers to our challenges:Personal Revelation;Relief Society-Teaching,Inspiring,and Strengthening and Measuring Success.

I love what she said about Measuring our Success:"Good women always have a desire to know if they are succeeding. In a world where the measures of success are often distorted, it is important to seek appreciation and affirmation from proper sources. To paraphrase a list found in Preach My Gospel, we are doing well when we develop attributes of Christ and strive to obey His gospel with exactness. We are doing well when we seek to improve ourselves and do our best. We are doing well when we increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek out and help others who are in need. We know we are successful if we live so that we qualify for, receive, and know how to follow the Spirit. When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves. We can feel certain that the Lord is pleased when we feel the Spirit working through us.Peace, joy, and hope are available to those who measure success properly."

So Alicia,when you have a bad day,somewhere else in the body,another handmaiden is probably feeling the same way.We can all reach out to one another and help and nurture. Our bad days are of concern to our Heavenly Father.
So behold, the Handmaiden of the Lord. You have found great favor in His sight.
Have a wonderful day Alicia,I know you are feeling better already.

Alicia said...

Wow Ramona that was wonderful! Thank you! I've listened to that talk by Sister Beck a couple of times but I haven't read it nor written down those main points so that was very refreshing. Thank you for those reminders and yes I am feeling better already :)

Thanks for your friendship Ramona!

Grayscale said...

Your faith decides your seasons. Forget time and work on faith. The timing is inside you.it can be now. Divine timing is decided by faith. What you do as a child of God is to start working on your faith on God keep your mind on it. The God that opened a door in your life is the one that can close it. When one door closes celebrate it because other seven are opened for you. Forget about what is going on in the environment and focus on God that is where your blessings come from. When God is through with you people's blessings will not be interesting to you. But you must never get distracted. (Psalm chap 112).

Alicia said...

Grayscale that is very beautiful. God has given you the gift of expression. Thanks so much for your comment. Beautiful.

Tony said...

An awesome message. God Bless you and all the moms out there who go through the same thing.

And wasn't that Holland message just inspiring?

McCulloughFam said...

Girl, you call me anytime! I have been struggling for some time now and it's not easy is it? Your influence on your children is better than anyone else. Well, my son beats his fishing pole about the same way as I beat the lawnmower with a stick. But it's not easy! Kirk's working up north for oh I don't know how much longer. He's been up there (and back a few times since the end of May). It's not easy working and taking care of ONE child either. I'm the mom AND the playmate. We women cry because we care. Do you know what I've found works for me, is to do service for someone and the Lord somehow helps me to fit everything into one day. I love you and when I think of one true friend, it is you.

Alicia said...

Tony Thanks for stopping by I always like it when you comment.

Vanessa my dear friend. It's so good to hear from you. I need to plan a retreat with you. I miss being neighbors and wish you weren't living 4 hours away from me now. I think about you all the time and hope that you have friends who you can rely on out there.

{leah} said...

Being a mom is so hard and some times I just want to run away.{just know you are not the only one :) }

Joe is really sweet and is taking good care of you. You'll come out better on the other side.

{ps.. remember to look at the kids when they are sleeping... they are so angelic... it makes you feel like you can do it all again tomorrow.}

Alicia said...

Thanks Leah :)