Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Play me that sad song...

Lately, I've been a little under the weather emotionally.
Sometimes trying to pinpoint my depression makes me all the more depressed....
I get depressed that I'm depressed. Crazy ha?

Well, it's at times like these that I find comfort in music.
I definitely feel better when I listen to my favorite bands.
It's hard for me to stay low when I've got music playing that makes me want to dance.
And getting up and dancing usually is all I need to put me back in a good mood.

Occasionally though, there are times I don't mind wallowing in my sadness and listening to a few songs that vocalize exactly what I'm feeling at the moment.
The validating lyrics seem to sooth my feelings of loneliness and I feel like, "finally another human being understands me."

So here is my sad song for the day....

THE TOWER
by, Vienna Teng

The one who survives by making the lives
of others worthwhile
she's coming apart
right before my eyes
the one who depends on the services she renders
to those who come knocking
she's seeing too clearly what she can't be
what understanding defies

she says I need not to need
or else a love with intuition
someone who reaches out to my weakness and won't let go
I need not to need
I've always been the tower
but now I feel like I'm the flower trying to bloom in snow

she turns out the light anticipating night falling
tenderly around her
and watches the dusk
the words won't come
she carries the act so convincingly the fact is
sometimes she believes it
that she can be happy the way things are
be happy with the things she's done

reach out
but hold back
where is safety
reach out
and hold back
where is the one who can change me
where is the one
the one
the one

reach out
but hold back
where is safety
reach out
and hold back
where is the one who can save me
where is the one
the one
the one
she says I need not to need
or else a love with intuition
someone who reaches out to my weakness and won't let go
I need not to need
I've always been the tower
but now I feel like I'm the flower trying to bloom in snow
…the danger and the power; the friend and foe.

8 comments:

6L's said...

i think this winter has been a depressing one. but have no fear, sunshine is near! you are obviously an awesome wife and mommy. go do something for YOU. hugs!!!!

Alicia said...

Thank you for your encouragement. I think our sisterhood is wonderful because there are things in life that only a sister could understand.... especially us moms but even those who don't have kids are able to relate with many of the same fears or discouragements.

You are right about the cold. I think near the end of winter I definately begin to break down from being indoors with my kids for what seems like 24/7 and my hubby constantly being gone at school.

I want to be strong but the truth is I don't always feel strong. Deep down I know these low days don't last forever.

I'm actually feeling much better today... not totally better but it's certainly an improvement from yesterday though, so I feel grateful for that. :)

This morning I read "be converted that I may heal you" in 3Nephi 9:13 then through scriptures.byu.edu I found a talk in reference to that scripture by Richard G. Scott given in April of 1994 entitled "To Be Healed". It was very timely and I knew it was an answer to my prayers.

Thanks again for your kindness "6L's" :)

RGG said...

Hi Alicia
David said in Psalms 27:13-14
13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

14 Wait on the LORD;Be of good courage;And He shall strengthen your heart;Wait, I say, on the LORD!

I know you have been experiencing some hard trials, but I hope you know that you have friends, seen and unseen who love you and pray for you daily. I do. I have a song for you little sister, some of your favorite gospel.

It's from a Cd called: The Grand Finale: Encourage Yourself by Donald Lawerence and the Tri-city singers.
Here are the words:

Sometimes you have to encourage yourself.
Sometimes you have to speak victory during the test.
And no matter how you feel,
speak the word and you will be healed;
speak over yourself,
encourage yourself in the Lord.

[Verse 2:]
Sometimes you have to speak the word over yourself,
the pressure is all around,
but God is present help.
The enemy created walls,
but remember giants, they do fall;
speak over yourself,
encourage yourself in the Lord.

As I minister to you, oh I minister to myself;
life can hurt you so,
'til you feel there's nothing left.
(No matter how you feel),
(speak the word and you will be healed).

Speak over yourself. [X4]

I'm encouraged.
I'm encouraged.
I'm encouraged.
I'm encouraged.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000TEL0BK/ref=dm_mu_dp_trk2

xoxoxo

Alicia said...

I really like that. It's kind of like positive self affirmations. You're so cool Ramona!

6L's said...

i'm glad you are feeling better :)

kam said...

I like the song you shared, Alicia. I've never heard it before.

It's hard not to get a little down in the dumps, during the winter especially. It sounds like you were able to find a few sources of comfort and I'm glad. You are such a beautiful daughter of God and you're doing an AMAZING work! I believe in you and I know that God does too. Hang in there, Springs just around the corner, I think that will do us ALL some good. :)

Alicia said...

Thanks again 6L's & Thanks Kambree. It gives me hope to know there are always "good things to come"

wheatgerm said...

Its not snowing today i feel great. Nice tower