Monday, November 30, 2009

Help Me to Be What I Am Not


I've never done this before but this year I've been doing an online school with my kids through k12.com I've chosen to do it for several reasons... one is because we move alot and another is because my son has asperger syndrome. I also like the fact that my kids can pray in school and use Scripture for part of their study. My children will still take a few classes at a regular school as they get older but I will teach the core ones.


This has been both rewarding and very challenging. Today has been very challenging. We all woke up on the wrong side of the bed and have been irritated, rude and impatient with each other. It's days like these that I feel like I am doing more damage than good by homeschooling. uggg!


I was getting so impatient and so irritable with my kids that finally for their safety I sent them outside for an hour long recess from me!


I went to my room and knelt down completely overwhelmed by my own weakness. I prayed for patience. I know about patience, I can talk about patience. I read scriptures about patience. But I don't feel like I AM patient... I know I'm not. So I prayed for GRACE! "Dear Father in Heaven please help me be what I am not." As to my own strength I am weak... I need strength beyond my own to accomplish this God given assignment as mother.


Every day I pray to improve but most of all I pray that He will help me see what I don't see.... in myself and in others. I pray He will help me be what I am not.... Because so often I am not forgiving, I am not gentle and I am not compassionate....the human nature side of me isn't.


But He knows my divine nature. I know our Father in Heaven is so anxious to bless us and he will give us what we ask for if it is a righteous request. I feel better now that I've given myself a "time out." I'm thankful to know that I can pray anytime, anywhere and seek for the powers of heaven to assist me. Our Father in Heaven is faithful, as I seek Him, He is always there. Oh how I need Him.

1 comment:

Tony said...

Don't give up! Ever :)

You're doing a great thing by homeschooling. There is no better place to learn then in the home.

You are doing a great work, and as you have shown you will not come down from it.

Thanks for being an example of faith.