Which way to the moon?

Ever been at a point in your life where you have no idea what's around the corner, as if everything is being tossed in the wind and you have no clue where it will end up? I suppose a lot of university students feel this way as they approach graduation.

My husband graduates this summer. By that time, we will almost be married 13 years. For the first 9 years of our marriage I think he avoided following his heart into the type of career he's always dreamed of.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "like a kid in a candy store"? It's when someone is absolutely giddy over something. That's how my husband gets when it comes to lunar and planetary studies. He's always said his dream is to fly to the moon, and he's serious. Even just the experience of being able to study the moon, the planets and stars his eyes light up! He has loved these things before he fell in love with me. But it has always been just a dream to him.

Just over four years ago we were at a crossroads. We had just sold our home to pay off all my husband's previous school debt from his associates degree, ITT tech, real estate schooling, pre-architecture classes, and our van. We moved into an apartment and sat there for a year not knowing where to go. We prayed for guidance every morning and night. We did a lot of fasting too. We had been everywhere trying to figure out his place.

All his education wasn't satisfying him, he knew he needed a bachelor degree. We knew he needed to go back to school. When the offer for him to attend BYU came up WE KNEW this was where the Lord was guiding us. It also meant he'd have to leave his job (that was paying very well) and find a new one in Provo. We'd have to sell most of our furniture, our washer and dryer to fit in a smaller and more affordable apartment. Our income would be cut down to an eighth of what he had been earning. His desire was to study Physics and Astronomy and he had never pursued it until that time because he didn't feel smart enough... and "how on earth would we pay for more schooling?" We went forward anyway, a little fearful of the unknown...yes, but we went with faith.

Now the end of August, we are facing another crossroad. He is graduating with his Bachelor of Science. He is applying for internships and may go on to pursue his master's degree in another state. He really wants to try an internship involving lunar and planetary exploration. So he's applying to the Johnson Space Center in Huston, TX. I'm so happy to see, after almost 13 yrs of marriage, he's finally pursuing his dreams.

"I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future."

Because He First Loved Us

I had such a wonderful day at church yesterday. Our Stake Presidency visited and spoke to us about Charity, forgiveness and focusing on the good in all we say and do. It was so uplifting. President Christiansen focused a lot on God's love and how it works within us. He quoted the following:

“We think we have to change, grow and be good in order to be loved. But rather we are loved and we receive His grace so we can change, grow and be good.” - John Powell

Image by, Mark Mabry

It's true! In 1 John 4:19 it teaches "We love Him, because he first loved us." Grace is truly an enabling power. I pondered how often I extend grace to my fellow man or how often I only give love when I feel it's been "earned". What would happen if I gave love regardless of how others receive it? What miracles would happen, especially in my own heart?

I felt like yesterday was such a feast. I appreciated how humbling the messages were for me. I love meetings like that!

Where are we going?

It's been almost 3 yrs. since my husband decided to go back to school to get his Bachelor's Degree. He has one more year and he will be done.... at least with that anyway... he's talked about getting a Master's Degree too. This summer he accepted an internship with NASA at Johns Hopkins University APL. It's exciting for me to see him getting this far because he never believed he could.... but I believed. I'm proud of my husband! This is going to be such a great opportunity for him this summer. Where will it lead us? I have no clue. I just know that we have been prayerful and the Lord has guided us throughout our life. I pray He will continue to guide our future and I will trust in Him.

"What Faith Can Do"

Photograph Entitled "Resurrection" by, Mark Maybry I have hope because of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I trust in His Atonement for me that as I press forward with faith in Him & do my best to follow His example, He will set things right. I know He lives and loves all of us. I know miracles happen when we keep our focus on Him. One of my favorite radio stations to listen to is K-Love Christian Radio And "What Faith Can Do" by, Kutless is currently my favorite song.

"What Faith Can Do"

By, Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes

Gotta find the strength to rise

From the ashes and make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache

You think it’s more than you can take

But you are stronger, stronger than you know

Don’t you give up now

The sun will soon be shining

You gotta face the clouds

To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn’t ever end

Even when the sky is falling

And I’ve seen miracles just happen

Silent prayers get answered

Broken hearts become brand new

That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard

Impossible is not a word

It’s just a reason for someone not to try

Everybody’s scared to death

When they decide to take that step

Out on the water It’ll be alright

Life is so much more

Than what your eyes are seeing

You will find your way

If you keep believing

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn’t ever end

Even when the sky is falling

And I’ve seen miracles just happen

Silent prayers get answered

Broken hearts become brand new

That’s what faith can do

Overcome the odds You do have a chance

(That’s what faith can do)

When the world says you can’t

It’ll tell you that you can!

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn’t ever end

Even when the sky is falling

And I’ve seen miracles just happen

Silent prayers get answered

Broken hearts become brand new

That’s what faith can do

That's what faith can do!

Even if you fall sometimes

You will have the strength to rise

By Study and by Faith

Winter semester started today. My husband is nervous because his classes are very intense and require long laborious hours of study and homework, leaving very little time for him to work to provide for our cost of living. Really, if it were not for the financial help from his parents while he is in school, I don't know where we would be? We also have food stamps which is something I absolutely have been against but I don't know what else to do?

One thing I do know is that he is supposed to be in school right now. He kicks himself for waiting so long to get his Bachelors Degree but I'm proud of him for having the courage to finish his schooling at this stage in our life! He knows he's in the right place too. He has had wonderful opportunities to work with different professors in Astronomy, Physics and now Planetary Geology. Each professor highly admires Joseph and have written excellent letters of recommendation for his internship this summer.

I don't know where we are going in the next few years. Perhaps we will stay here for another 4 until he gets his Masters? My oldest child will be turning 14 then... that's crazy for me to think about!! Most likely we will move somewhere across the United States. His dream is to work for NASA and I would love to see him achieve that dream.

There is no doubt in my mind that our Heavenly Father has guided us to where we are and is continuing to guide us where we need to be. It's very exciting. I've seen so many miracles in the 11 yrs. of our marriage. Prayer and faith have been a daily part of our journey. Monetarily, I don't like depending on anybody, I have had to humble myself and except a little financial help here and there. But I know that when all is said and done, when Joseph finally finishes school, we will then be in a position to help someone else in their journey.

I want it to be very clear that I have never cared for lots of money. I told my husband when I married him that I would be happy to live in a tiny house and live a very simple life. I don't care for manicures, matching purses and shoes, name brand clothes or name brand anything for that matter. And I think it's wonderful that my kids are content with paper, markers, books and their imagination... so spending money on toys has never been a problem either. It's wonderful! I like the simple life because it helps me treasure the simple things!

I am very excited for my husband to be successful and achieve his dream, not for money but for the sheer thrill of saying that he did it, he got his degree, he accomplished something that he didn't feel he was capable of doing.

I have no doubt that when he finishes up his schooling we will have opprotunities to make very good money. I'm sure it will be nice but at that time, I never want to lose sight of the happiness I have found in simplicity, hard work, prayer, faith, humility and trust in God...because money can't buy any of these things.

Where's Earth?

I took my children to see a kid's show at the planetarium in the science building my husband does research at. The planetarium is a large dome theater that projects a replica of what we see in our night time sky. The lady giving the presentation pointed out different planets such as Jupiter, Venus, and others...

...then she asked the children if they knew where Earth was.

One child squinted her eyes, "there it is, I see earth," she said pointing to one of the stars.

"Actually you can't see earth in the stars like you can the other planets," responded the presenter. "The reason you can't see it in the sky is because you are standing on it."

I looked over at my 4yr. old and saw this revelation hit him...

He looked down at his feet with complete amazement... as he gazed with his eyes wide open he shouted excitedly , "I'M STANDING ON EARTH!"

I laughed with adoration. And then..... I learned something from him. I learned how children see miracles in things we adults often take for granted. Isn't it amazing in this vast expanse of space that WE ARE STANDING ON EARTH!

Parable of the Sower and Alma 32

One of my favorite songs is from the Chronicles of Narnia soundtrack , "The Call" by, Regina Spektor. Everytime I hear this song I can't help but think of Mathew 13:1-23 and Alma 32:28-43. This song keeps playing in my head today, I know the words but this is the first time I've put them down. Great song... even greater message!

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope

Which then turned into a quiet thought

Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder

'Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back

When you call me

No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing

Doesn't mean it's never

Been this way before

All you can do is try to know

Who your friends are

As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon

And follow the light

You'll come back

When it's over

No need to say good bye

You'll come back

When it's over

No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning

It's just a feeling and no one knows yet

But just because they can't feel it too

Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger

'Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back

When they call you

No need to say good bye

You'll come back

When they call you

No need to say good bye

- The Call by, Regina Spektor

Grateful

I wish I was good at expressing my heart with words....but I'm not gifted at speaking or at writing. If it weren't for "spell check" you'd see how bad I am at spelling too. I often feel like I have so much in my heart and I don't know how to adequately express it all.

I am so thankful for the talents of others who share their testimony through music, through art or through beautiful words. I need their talents to find expression for myself.

I may not be gifted at writing or speaking... even my artwork is amateur too. I wish I could find some way of truly sharing how blessed I feel....


For me to say "I feel so incredibly blessed" just doesn't seem like enough though.... and I just don't know how else to say it...

When I think of my Father in Heaven, when I think of His Son, Jesus Christ and His grace, when I think of this glorious plan of salvation and look at the beauty surrounding me, when I think of God's miracles big and small and how He has heard and answered so many of my prayers, countless prayers answered so perfectly, when I think of how God speaks to Prophets and Apostles today, when I think of the temple and the blessings there, when I think of the power of the scriptures, when I think of all the amazing things my children teach me.... I feel like falling to my knees with gratitude. I can't help but cry. He loves me, He loves me, He loves me!! I know God is the Father of my spirit, that He is so loving, so patient, so merciful to me. Do you ever just look around and feel so consumed with gratitude that you feel like shouting with joy for all you have? Miracles happen all the time. God is so aware of the fine details of our lives and He cares so deeply. I know this, I have witnessed it for myself.

Trust. Have Faith. Believe. Keep Going.

"And he said unto me: Knowest thou the condescension of God?

And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children;

nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things....

And the angel said unto me: Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw?

And I answered him, saying: Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things.

And he spake unto me, saying: Yea, and the most joyous to the soul. ."

-Nephi 11: 16-17, 21-23

Does this happen to you?

I go to do a quick check of my email,

I plan to be there for just a second but then I pass by the news on yahoo and something catches my eye leading me to more news that is usually just plain depressing or totally useless.

Then I forget checking my email and end up going to blogger and check out what's on my dashboard which can lead me from one blog to another in an endless sea of blogs.

After viewing so many other blogs I begin to think of fun or different things I can add to mine or what my new post will be about.

So I'll work on my blog only to remember I never got around to checking my email.

I stop by at my email and find my inbox full of messages, some forwards, some stopping by to say "hi", some long, some short so I take a bit of time to respond to them.

I had only "planned" to be on the computer for just a couple of minutes and before I know it, those couple of minutes have turned into a couple of hours!!

I turn around from the stupid computer and see I have 10 min. or less to get my kids ready for school, their hair is a mess, the house is a mess, I am a mess, they aren't dressed, I'm not dressed, they aren't fed and I'm not fed and the baby is screaming. This is where I usually end up in a full scale panic, usually blaming my kids for playing all morning, instead of getting ready (duh. hello! who is the real one to blame?)

Now this doesn't happen to me every day... but it has happened to me and it's an awful feeling. Maybe I'm the only one who has experienced this... Either way.. I have decided to exercise more self control, to exercise a little more self restraint.

Yes the Internet can be used as a really great tool for education, for learning, keeping in touch with family and friends, for downloading yummy recipes (wonderful tool for this)... and my personal favorite thing the Internet can be used for is sharing the Gospel.

A web can be used for two things to capture or to be captured. So the internet must be used wisely.

So I think it's a matter of making the decision of what is most important at the moment and taking care of those things first. There are many things on the Internet that can wait and will still be there moments or even months later. But some things won't be there at the next moment or months later... and it is usually those things that are most important.

There was a really great talk given not long ago that helps to emphasize and clarify where I'm coming from called... Good, Better, Best

I am going to limit my total screen time, (television, Internet or whatever) to absolutely no more than one hour a day. Occasionally there will be those weekends where I might put in a movie. But during the week I am putting my goal to have absolutely no more than 1 hour of SCREEN time per day.... Because I've just got "Better" things to do.

Reason #1 to limit my screen time: So I have more of this little miracle...

Reason #2 to limit my screen time: So I have more of this little miracle...

Reason #3 to limit my screen time: So I have more of this little miracle...

Reason #4 to limit my screen time: So I have more of this little miracle...

Reason #5 to limit my screen time: So I have more of this...

Are You Ready For Miracles?

My husband and I have been praying that he will find a job to provide for our little family.

Yesterday my husband was at the University visiting the Astronomy department. During casual conversation with one of the professors, my husband mentioned that he had been laid off and was searching for work. The professor informed him that he was looking for someone to help him with Astronomy research and could pay my husband $10 an hour. Only thing is...my husband's full-time school schedule only allows him to work 20 hours a week.

This would equal out to being $200 a week... for a family of 6. That's before taxes!

We went to the temple today fasting and praying.... crazy thing is we both feel like he should take this opportunity doing research with the professor. I know, I know... if you do the numbers it doesn't add up at all!!!

As we were in the temple praying about our financial situation I kept thinking, "If he takes this research job we just won't have enough, there's not enough money for us here!" Then as my husband and I joined hands and I whispered a prayer for guidance, I envisioned myself with 5,000 people sitting at the feet of Christ (in Mark 8) and staring at the few loaves of bread and fishes saying, "Lord there's not enough here, there's just not enough, it doesn't add up!"

But the miracle is that it was enough!! Christ fed the 5,000 with just a few fishes and 5 loaves of bread...hello! 5,000 people... and that's not all... after everyone was fed there were 12 baskets of fragments left over.... there were left-overs!!! As this image came to my mind, I felt the Spirit witness to me that we will be ok and I began to cry tears of gratitude. This experience will strengthen our faith. I am so grateful. I believe in miracles, most of all I have no doubt that the Lord knows our needs and hears our heartfelt prayers.

Maybe my husband getting laid off is not a loss after all, maybe it has provided an opening for opportunity.... an opportunity to strengthen our faith, gain experience, learn wisdom and witness MIRACLES!

Laid Off

My husband got laid off yesterday. We officially have zero income. It's humbling. We are going forward with faith. I know the Lord is aware of our needs and we will have sufficient. We feel very blessed because we have a little savings and no debt. We all have our health and we have each other. I think this is a perfect time for my husband to be going to school because we can still get grants that will help pay for that.

I realize we are one of the many, many people facing this dilemma. I am so grateful that we have the Gospel to give us peace and direction. The Lord provided manna in the wilderness for the Israelites... I know he will take care of us. He may not bless us with money but I know he can bless us with wisdom. All will be well. I will put my trust (my investment) in the Lord.

Miracles

Increased prices at the pump... Grocery bills are doubling.... Value of the dollar is dropping....Our economy is facing some real tough times. And we, just like so many others, are feeling "the pinch."

Thinking of my husband going to school again full time and cutting back on his 40hr work week to accommodate his school schedule, having our forth child, moving to a new place.... all this has been, in my mind, somewhat frightening.... wondering how everything is going to add up. We are completely debt free and are trying to get scholarships to pay for school... but even with the scholarships we still have the cost of living, of taking care of our 3 little children and the 4th one on the way. I'm a stay-at-home mom (by my own choosing) and so my husband is the only source of income. This is all a leap of faith for us.

A couple of days ago I was reading in John chapter 6 where Jesus fed 5,000 people with only 5 loaves of bread and 2 fishes. Now, I've read this account and heard this story hundreds of times, it's one of my favorites. But reading it the other day, it came to me in a whole different light. After all the people were fed... Jesus sent out his disciples to gather up the fragments left over from the 5 loaves and 2 fishes..... wait a minute... what?.....The fragments? There was left-over??? Yes! 12 full baskets of crumbs.

You do the math... does that add up for you?
5,000 hungry people + 5 loaves + 2 fishes = the remainder of 12 baskets full of crumbs.
This brought to my mind the promise found in Malachi 3:10

"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."

For those of you who might not know what a "tithe" is :
It's 10% of all our income that we give to the Church for the purpose of sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ and building up the kingdom of God on the earth.

My husband and I have a firm testimony that this practice in our lives has brought forth amazing blessings... nothing short of miracles, in our lives. We have had many situations where we have looked through our own eyes, wondering how on earth everything would add up or come together.... only to turn it over to the Lord and watch miracle after miracle occur.

I came home from grocery shopping the other day and opened my fridge only to find I didn't have much room for what I just bought "there shall not be room enough to receive it, Alicia" came into my mind. I just smiled. I almost felt like crying. My heart was full of gratitude. "I don't have room for all these blessings," I thought. It was a fulfilment of the promise in Malachi and just like the 12 baskets left over when Jesus fed the 5,000.

I can't explain it. I don't know how He does it! All I know is that God loves us and is aware of each and every one of us. He delights to bless us! He is anxious to bless us! He wants to "prove it." He only asks us to follow Him, to apply His counsels and His teachings.... He wants to be #1 priority in our lives. I know that when we put God first.... amazing things happen. Miracles happen. He has helped us to be wise with our resources. He has helped us to discern between those things we need and those things we don't. He has blessed us with creative ideas of how to make things last longer.... and so on.

How thankful I am for such a Faithful Friend,
I know God lives, I know His Son, Jesus Christ, is my Savior and Redeemer.
I know He guides us through His Spirit and through Scripture.... and so many other ways.
He loves us and is anxious to bless us.
I trust Him and I will praise Him and thank Him every day!
"I am believing God, I am believing Christ."
I feel at peace.

God Bless You!
Alicia

Sleeping Beauties

I don't have much to blog about today. I've had a good day but have been extremely busy carpooling back and forth to schools, running to Doctors appointments, cleaning up my car from sick kids, bathing children, feeding children, changing dirty diapers, reading stories, playing games and tucking my sweet little ones into bed. I'm exhausted! I'm leaving the dishes undone and the house a mess and I'm going to bed, it will all be there tomorrow. I'm exhausted but I feel great, I'm so blessed to have what I do. It's so awesome to see my three little miracles all taken care of and sleeping peacefully, Man! there is nothing better than being a mommy. It's amazing how much work it takes to care for my little family.... but it's so worth it! It's so worth it!