Psalm 142

I cry aloud to the Lord;
    I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy.
I pour out before him my complaint;
    before him I tell my trouble.

When my spirit grows faint within me,
    it is you who watch over my way.
In the path where I walk
    people have hidden a snare for me.
 Look and see, there is no one at my right hand;
    no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge;
    no one cares for my life.

 I cry to you, Lord;
    I say, “You are my refuge,
    my portion in the land of the living.”

 Listen to my cry,
    for I am in desperate need;
rescue me from those who pursue me,
    for they are too strong for me.
 Set me free from my prison,
    that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me
    because of your goodness to me.

Change of Seasons

I noticed a few of the leaves were turning yellow today which means the change of seasons is in the air. This is always a welcome change for me because I LOVE fall! Seeing these signs of nature, made me think of the variety of seasons in life for all of us.

I couldn't help but reflect on the phone call from my dad earlier this morning that mom has been admitted to the hospital again. With her condition seemingly getting worse over the past year, this could be an indication that I am entering another season in my own life... the leaves are changing. I suppose nothing really does stay the same forever and life unfolds in ways we usually don't expect.

Thinking about my mom today, I began to feel a little heavy with fear. "I'm not ready to be at a stage in my life yet where I watch my parents deteriorate.... In 20 yrs. from now I still don't think I'll be ready to handle such a challenge!" Needing some comfort, I recalled the scripture in Mormon that reads, "For do we not read that God is the ^asame ^byesterday, today, and forever, and in him there is no ^cvariableness neither shadow of changing?"

I remember sitting in a testimony meeting years ago and listening to a mother who just lost a baby at birth. I'm sure this was something she never imagined would happen to her. But through her tears she had not lost her faith. She stood confident and declared with boldness, "I don't know what the future holds...But I know Who holds the future." I've never forgotten that.

I take comfort in knowing that God will not leave us, He will help us through whatever life requires of us and give us strength to bear it. I believe with all my heart in the promise found in Isaiah "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

What is not seen...

Have you ever found yourself complaining about the various complications in your life only to meet someone who's story makes your problems seem like a cake walk?...

As I was waiting in the Dr.'s office today for my son's appointment, I met such a person. She was very pretty and as our conversation began I would have assumed she had a fairly easy life.

We began to talk about our children. She told me she had 6 and then went on to tell me about some struggles she is having with one of her daughters. She feels it might be in part due to her husband's injuries in Iraq. A couple of years ago her husband, the father of her troubled daughter, was wounded while serving in the military causing him to be blind, deaf and partially brain damaged. She talked of the personality change in the man she had married and how she felt as if she didn't even know who he was anymore. The struggles she spoke of sounded like something only found in nightmares. She is carrying so much weight on her own.

It broke my heart and I wanted to wash all her pain away and give her a brand new life with everything in place as she dreamed it would be. I wished I could wave a magic wand and that she'd have her loving companion to come home too, to talk to and enjoy life together, working together so she wasn't alone in raising her children. A few times I tried to hold back my tears because I just wanted to cry for her. I asked her how she even began to find a support group for a situation like hers? She told me she finds strength and support in knowing that Christ understands her and knows her pain. She confides in Him and He has provided many blessings in the course of it all.

I have to wonder how I would hold up under circumstances like hers.... It frightens me to think of what I would do... or not do. I'm afraid I would just shut down and give up. I'd like to think I'd keep my faith, I pray I would! But I honestly don't know how I would handle the horrible things she's been through.

After we went our separate ways I found myself thinking of an old quote I had hanging on my wall as a teenager, "I used to complain I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet."

As we parted, I reflected on how much differently we would treat people if we only knew what they were going through. How much more merciful would we be, more willing to listen or slow down and offer the right of way? What opprotunities would we take to show expressions of kindness, of encouragement if we knew the achings deep within that person's heart?

I often think about the Atonement of my Savior, Jesus Christ, and how He took upon Him all our grief, pain, guilt, sorrow and sin etc. What about His pain and grief?! What about the weight He felt just from the sorrows of His own life?! He had been betrayed, beaten, despised and mocked not just by His enemies but also His own friends.... And now He was taking on Himself very literally the weight of the world! Ironically, I think it was His focus on others, His compassion for their pain that helped Him see beyond His own grief enough to Atone for us.

I pray to have my eyes open every day. Let me not be blind to the blessings I have nor to the help I can give.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf said it best, "there are so many people in need whom we could be thinking about instead of ourselves....There are so many ways we could be serving. We have no time to become absorbed in ourselves...When we see the world around us through the lens of the pure love of Christ, we begin to understand humility...We don’t discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving God and our fellowman."

Amazing Story of Healing

This is a true story about a man who forgave the drunk driver that killed his wife and two kids. It is so powerful and inspiring!! It's a reminder to me of Christ's miraculous Atonement and the healing that comes from forgiving others!! Take a look and watch this increadible story. Share it with everyone you know :)

Haitian Saints Keep the Faith!

This is an amazing story of faith in the middle of adversity.

Photography by Scot Facer Proctor
Maurine and Scot Proctor, Meridian’s editor and publisher, are currently in Haiti with 125 LDS medical, construction and translation volunteers from Utah.

Much of Haiti lies in rubble. Collapsed roofs lie at angles, smashed against the floor below them. Cinder blocks slant in heaps along the roads. Some streets in Port-au-Prince look like old pictures of bombed-out Berlin after World War II. It’s a horror, an apocalypse.

Yet, amidst a shoddy neighborhood stands a jewel, the Croix-des-Missions LDS church and sounding through the air is a hymn: How Firm a Foundation.

It is a particularly well-chosen song in a land whose physical foundations could not stand the earth’s tremors, but whose Latter-day Saints have proven to be remarkably resilient. They know that though all but a handful have lost their homes, their foundation is in the gospel of Jesus Christ and that is firm.



Attending the 3-hour church block on Sunday felt remarkably normal to us. There were the Saints dressed well, many in crisp, white shirts that looked newly ironed. The deacons wore their white shirts and ties as they reverently passed the sacrament.


How can this be? Without homes, they are living on the street in hastily-assembled, makeshift shelters on any flat land that is available. Their walls may be sheets hung over ropes or pieces of cardboard. Their beds are concrete or hard earth. Everything they owned—and that already wasn’t much—has been stripped from them by an initial quake that lasted about 45 seconds and after shocks that continued for days.

Haiti, right now and for the foreseeable future, is a land sleeping out. People fill the church’s courtyards at night—and instead of woe, they laugh and talk. They have shanties on the median strip between two lanes of riotous traffic.

We asked member after member, how can you be so beautifully groomed on Sunday, given your conditions? They answered that because most everyone is now living in the street, they are indeed dirty during the week, plagued by all the ills that befalls a newly-made street person, but, they added that though they had no water to drink, they had water good enough to wash their clothes.

So there they were singing about what really is their firm foundation and looking like any other LDS congregation across the world—except they are homeless.



Their Lessons and Talks

That is not all. Their lessons and talks were sophisticated and scripturally based, as if they had a library and computer at their fingertips to prepare instead of the side of the road.

The sacrament meeting began with strains of “Come, come ye Saints, no toil, nor labor fear, but with joy wend your way.” For most of us who come from other nations, we would be hard-pressed to find joy in impoverished and broken Haiti before the earthquake, let alone now, but they sang like they meant it, “Happy day, all is well.”

They prayed, “We are all thankful to be counted among the living. We are grateful to know of thy truth. There are many outside the walls of this church who do not have this truth to sustain them through the trials. We know we were kept alive because we have a mission to complete. Bless us all that we can be strong and take care of each other.”

We listened tearfully. The sacrament was passed and each of the seven children sitting on the row next to us took not a single piece of bread but a scoop each. They are hungry.

Then we heard a talk, a surprising, enriching talk from France Nathalie Desir—so beautifully done.She told the audience:“For some of the adversity we face, we can place the weight on our own shoulders because we are not obeying God’s laws. That adversity we can control, but there are some kinds of adversity we can’t control like the earthquake. We didn’t do anything to attract it. We all had friends and families who were killed. A lot of people are discouraged and have lost faith, but we as members of the Church now have a mission.

“We know why we have adversities. They are to make us stronger. We have the freedom to either let them overcome us or to make us strong. Just as we send little children to school, the Lord has sent us here for a school.

“Our big enemy is our pride that keeps us from loving our neighbour and obeying the commandments…Since January 12, we all have experienced sleeping outside. As I was lying in the courtyard looking up at the stars, I knew this was the time to manifest charity and mourn with those who mourn, give food to those who need food.

“We have a certain joy, and the joy is knowing these things are temporary. The trials we are given on earth are for us, and the Lord knows everything we are going through and they are to augment our faith and bring us to God.”

The primary children at the ward were as happy, giggly and bright as any children in the world—maybe more so.

The lessons for the youth were very much like those for the adults.

We must be strong in this time of adversity. We must reach out with love to those who are discouraged.

Home Teaching

Francy Saint-Preux, the High Priest group leader for the ward, said doing home teaching is ten times harder than it used to be because people are no longer in their homes and sleeping somewhere on the street, but after the quake they made every effort to assure that everyone was safe. Temporal needs are difficult to meet because they are so overwhelming and every priesthood leader is inundated. They’ll do anything to help, but there are some things they just can’t do.Francy said, “The island is in disarray from top to bottom.”He noted, “One of the first things I had to do as a leader in the high priests is to restore confidence in the members. I remind them that the important things are still intact. Your kids are safe. You have the gospel. I encourage people to focus on staying close to God. “What we teach the members is the gospel,” he said. Our gospel is simple--pray, read your scriptures, pay your tithing and work. Do everything you can to work. Even the solution to a temporal problem is a spiritual one. Get back to the basics.”

Meet the Members

Guerby Pierre

Guerby Pierre is one of those exceptional people in Haiti who actually has a job. He is well-educated and has a job as an accountant with a billboard company. He tells what happened to him when the earthquake hit:“The things I saw during the earthquake are forever engraved on my memory. You see things in disaster movies, but it is nothing like when it happens in real life, and I cannot ever forget it.

“I was inside at my work, working at my computer, at what seemed like a normal day. Then, all of a sudden with a roaring noise, it seemed like a giant beast had taken the building in his arms and was twisting and shaking it back and forth. My screen fell off my desk; bookshelves started falling, and I ran for the door, but could hardly keep my footing with the shaking. As I stood at the door, the wall I had been leaning against before completely collapsed. “It is so different when you experience this in real life. People think of the great earthquakes in 3rd Nephi. People outside thought it was the Second Coming.

“My work is destroyed. That was my livelihood. I went to my house and it is completely gone, but I was able to go in and get the things that really mattered to me—my temple recommend, my passport, some clothes and my scriptures.”He held up his battered scriptures at that moment, the gilt-edged pages long ago worn away, and we asked him, “Did that happen to your scriptures during the earthquake?”He just smiled back and said, “No, I really love my scriptures and I use them all the time.”The day before the earthquake a tune started wafting through Guerby’s mind. Again and again it came and stayed with him through the day. He realized that the words were “The Lord my pasture will prepare, and guard me with a shepherd’s care.”He was so impressed with the message that returned again and again to him, that he wrote down the words to the hymn and sent them in a note to his sweetheart. The next day the meaning was still in his soul as his world was hurled apart, and he knew that no matter what happened, the Lord had already sent him a message of comfort.Now, Guerby is sleeping outside in a tent every night. The way he looks at it is his first job is to take care of his friends and other members of the Church. Even if he doesn’t have a lot of money he can strengthen them. His second job as an accountant is gone, so he has more time for his first job.Some things are really hard. It is hard to think that after working hard to become college-educated that he might be back to shining shoes to get enough money to live on. And it’s hard not to have a home. He misses the feeling of something comfortable and recognizable to come back to at night.He’s holding on. He had saved a little money. He got some food and shoes from the bishop.

Each night as he lays under the stars, it reminds him of what is really important in life. He said, “In one sense I have nothing, but in another, I have everything because I have the gospel, and this earthquake has only augmented my testimony. My life is changed. The earthquake simplified it. Since the earthquake, I could all of a suddenly think clearly.” Gone are certain things he thought were really important. Instead, he is hoping to find a way to take his best friend and sweetheart to the temple to be married.“Life can be hard sometimes,” he says, “but it will be OK.”

Charles Marie Murielle

“When the earthquake happened, I was inside my house. I had just come from school because I am studying to be a nurse. There was a professor who was absent, so I came home early.“I was just taking off my uniform when the earthquake started. I heard the noise and felt the earthquake and thought to myself, this is an earthquake.

“After it stopped, I found myself, I was yelling, but I had a strong feeling I shouldn’t leave my house. I should just stay there. I went to open my door to go out, and my door was blocked, I couldn’t open it. “I said a sincere prayer. I told the Lord that I was not ready to die. I don’t have a family, yet, and I haven’t been to the temple. With a lot of strategy I was able to open the door by myself.

“Outside, everyone was crying and screaming out to God, ‘What is going on?’ The farther I got out, I saw that churches had fallen and people had been killed. “My school which is four stories tall had collapsed and all the students and teachers had been killed. I would have been there if my teacher had not shown up. “All communications were cut off. No radio. No telephone. No one knew what was going on. We were all trying to find an open space. We kept hearing instructions, “Don’t go inside. Don’t go inside.”“From time to time the earth would shake again. I was continually scared. I was the only member of the Church nearby, and I felt like I was alone. People from other religions were making a lot of noise and were screaming. I found myself in silence because the Spirit told me exactly what to do. I knew it was not the end of the world.

“I prayed, ‘Give me strength so that I can hold on.’ I found the strength to help a few people who were injured. I found a lot of people who were in shock. The next day I met a brother from the church who came to my house to see if I was OK. He told me I needed to come to the church that all of the members were meeting there. That gave me strength.We asked her what the future holds for her without money or a house or a school. She said she is determined to find a way to finish her nursing, but for now, she lives at the church and she’s scared to go back to her house. Maybe she will make cookies to sell.

Erick Goimbert

They didn’t try to get out, as it was hard to stand, impossible to walk. They just started praying. He did not know it was an earthquake as he had never experienced anything so overwhelming before.When they finally made their lurching way out of the house, he saw that all the houses around him were completely destroyed and his neighbors had been killed.

Now, he and his family are sleeping wherever they can find a spot at night, mostly in the road by their house. He’d like to come and sleep at the church, but his home is too far away.He has no tent, but sleeps under some corrugated tin cover. Every morning he doesn’t know where to get food. He just waits day to day for help. Like most Haitians, he doesn’t have a job, and his wife just sells things in the street.Among his slim possessions are a few Tylenol pills for when his back, hit by the dresser in the quake, hurts too much.

He says with some good cheer, “Everybody is praying. There is definitely a feeling of unity and my testimony has been strengthened. You drive through my neighbourhood and mine was the only house that is not completely destroyed.What for the future? He sees no possibilities to rebuild a house. He has no money and can’t see where he could possibly get any.

Polycarpe Macking

The day of the earthquake, two of his children had just come home from school and were watching television. He was out in the front yard feeding the chickens, their main source of livelihood.

About 4:45, he started to feel the shaking movement. Immediately his children ran outside as the roaring, pitching earth got worse. As soon as they ran outside, the house collapsed. They knelt down and, crying, said a prayer for his wife and other daughter, asking that they would be safe. They found her quickly for which he was grateful.

Now, he doesn’t know what he’s going to do. “God must have a plan for me,” he said, “and I’m just going to have to see what it is.”

The scriptures are his life and he loves to read.A vibrant young man, he still hasn’t had a job for seven years, and the few chickens they had were crushed or scattered in the earthquake. For now, they are sleeping in their yard. They have no money to rebuild.

Group Photograph

We couldn’t help ourselves in wanting to show the amazing light and joy in the faces of the Haitian Saints here in the Croix-des-Missions Ward in Port-au-Prince.

We then told our translators to instruct them to do something we learned from then President David Bednar at BYU-Idaho. We told them to hold up their scriptures high and let us see them.

We saw every variety of scriptures, manuals and hymnbooks go up into the air.

Many of the children wanted to gather for their own group picture.Their faces captured it all.

This is a glimpse of the members of the Croix-des-Missions ward after the earthquake. It’s good they can sing “Happy day, all is well,” because like the handcart pioneers of old they have nothing but God’s help and the help of his children to see them through.

Donate here to help the victims of the earthquake in Haiti.

More good news about relief efforts here.

My Tribute to Jim

Today I found out that a relative of mine passed away. I just found out about his blog and was reading some of his final entries. He died very young. I've been sitting here crying as I'm reading. What a truly wonderful family and what an amazing man. He had great faith in our Savior and was devoted to being a true disciple of Christ. I didn't know him, he was my dad's cousin. I guess not many people do know their second cousins... But this is a one I really wish I did. I guess I'll have to wait.

New Years... and Fears?

I think with a new year it's easy to have new fears. Maybe fear because of the unknown, fear of future burdens, war, economic struggles, sickness, or losing a friend or loved one. We may have anxiety for a new year because we doubt our abilities or we are afraid we will make the same mistakes all over again.



But faith is to hope for that which is not seen but are true, to trust that God is in the details of our lives and will guide us as we seek His guidance. He will strengthen us to do right as we seek His strength.



The Lord led the children of Israel out of bondage through the plagues, the famines, the sea and wilderness... surely then He can and will lead us through our trials and provide us with our needs!

Painting by, Arnold Friberg

So many times I have witnessed this in my life! I know God lives and He hears our prayers. He will provide & He will guide as we seek His will. The right things will fall into place and that which is not essential will drop out. It's through the Refiner's fire that gold is made and dross consumed. He loves us, we are His children. This I know, I shall not fear!



The following quote is from President Dieter F. Uchtdorf and is part of the January Message from the Ensign.



"Individual and collective trials may sometimes seem overwhelming. That is when we need, more than ever, to draw near unto the Lord. As we do, we will come to know what it means to have the Lord draw near unto us. As we seek Him ever more diligently, we will surely find Him. We will see clearly that the Lord does not abandon His Church or His faithful Saints. Our eyes will be opened, and we will see Him open the windows of heaven and shower us with more of His light. We will find the spiritual strength to survive even during the darkest night.



It may be hard to see that at times, but hold on a little longer, for “eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him” and wait for Him (1 Corinthians 2:9; see also D&C 76:10; 133:45)."

Strength and Hope in the Midst of Trial

We sang this song in Church today and I cried all through it... the words are what I needed at this time. I have been struggling with an illness that the Dr.'s are still trying to figure out. I have anxiety over the "unknown" sometimes and it's baggage that I really don't need to carry. A wise person once said, "I don't know what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future." I just need to remember "peace be still" and know that it's all in God's hands.

I am so thankful for the power of prayer, for God's tender mercies, for the power of His word, the power of music and the comforting influence of the Spirit of the Lord.

"Master, the tempest is raging!The billows are tossing high!The sky is o'ershadow with blackness,No shelter or help is nigh;Carest Thou not that we perish?How canst Thou lie asleep,When each moment so madly is threateningA grave in the angry deep?

The winds and the waves shall obey Thy will,Peace, be still!Whether the wrath of the storm tossed sea,Or demons or men, or whatever it beNo waters can swallow the ship where liesThe Master of ocean, and earth, and skies;They all shall sweetly obey Thy will,Peace, be still! Peace, be still!They all shall sweetly obey Thy will,Peace, peace, be still!

Master, with anguish of spiritI bow in my grief today;The depths of my sad heart are troubledOh, waken and save, I pray!Torrents of sin and of anguishSweep o’er my sinking soul;And I perish! I perish! dear MasterOh, hasten, and take control.

Master, the terror is over,The elements sweetly rest;Earth’s sun in the calm lake is mirrored,And heaven’s within my breast;Linger, O blessèd Redeemer!Leave me alone no more;And with joy I shall make the blest harbor,And rest on the blissful shore."

- Words by Mary A. Baker

A Living Prayer

I love this song by Alison Krauss! It gives me chills.

I found this song on an amazing blog by this increadible musician who has such inspiring faith in the midst increadible trials.

http://mytricuspidatresia.blogspot.com/2009/06/my-brother-and-irony-of-life.html


"In this world I walk alone
With no place to call my home
But there's one who holds my hand
The rugged road through barren lands
The way is dark, the road is steep
But He's become my eyes to see
The strength to climb, my griefs to bear
The Savior lives inside me there
In Your love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee
In these trials of life I find
Another voice inside my mind
He comforts me and bids me live
Inside the love the Father gives
In Your love I find release
A haven from my unbelief
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee
Take my life and let me be
A living prayer, my God to Thee"

"A Living Prayer" by, Alison Krauss

Had a hard day...

This is a new video just made.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wz41YxNiHEg&feature=channel_page
I watched it with my husband today.... and it brought tears to our eyes. I know we have a loving Father in Heaven who hears and answers our prayers.

President Ditier F. Uchtdorf said last year at womens conference... "In the end, the number of prayers we say may contribute to our happiness, but the number of prayers we answer may be of even greater importance. Let us open our eyes and see the heavy hearts, notice the loneliness and despair; let us feel the silent prayers of others around us, and let us be an instrument in the hands of the Lord to answer those prayers."

Life's Ironies

Go read this post today. It's very thought provoking. This post is so good!!

The Irony in Life
Paul is waiting for a heart transplant and he inspires me so much!! Pray for him.