Chin Up, Hold Your Head High in Meekness

Sometimes I fall into the temptation of beating myself up, of picking at every little flaw and putting myself down saying things like, "Why can't I figure things out?" "She seems like such a better mother than me." "When will I learn to hold my tongue and be more patient with my kids?" "I wish I were prettier like her... I wish I were smarter like so and so... I wish I could somehow keep at least a little order in my house instead of this chaotic mess all the time..." and on and on I go viewing myself so negatively.

Pretty depressing ha?

So in my little slump I turned to some talks that were given at a women's conference a few years back. This is exactly what I needed to hear. Maybe someone else needs this pep talk too... so here's a few clips from it.

"We are all pretty hard on ourselves, but it seems to me women are harder on themselves than men will ever be. Why is that so? We ask you not to do it. Repent when or where that is necessary, but then honor that other “R”—Rejoice!" - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

and then Sister Holland adds...

"Sisters, may I make an appeal that it is a time for us, especially as women, to try to strip ourselves of something else that also seems so prevalent among women. I suppose men suffer with such things, too, but it seems to be particularly evident, and particularly painful, among women. It is closely related to the things my husband just touched on. I speak of the constant feeling we seem to have that what we are or what we have is not enough. That is Satan’s demonic chant sounding continually in our ears. It is not true! We are more intelligent than this. We are stronger, much stronger, than this! Constantly comparing ourselves with others leaves us feeling so weak and worthless. It taps into our pride and poisons with jealousy. Let’s start a new “chant”— that we are women of Christ, that we are spiritually strong personally, and that we will prepare the next generation for their opportunities. Let us strip ourselves of pride and vanity and envy forever.

Heaven only knows how much the world uses envy and pride and worldly glamour in our society. We have to walk away from these things but this will not be easy to do. We will need these gifts of heaven of which we spoke earlier, the power of God’s grace and priesthood, the atoning power of the Savior, which compensates where we try and try but seem to fall short.

James knew all this. He said: “The spirit which God implanted in us [all of us] turns towards envious desires. Yet the grace he gives is stronger. Thus the scripture says, God opposes the arrogant and gives grace to the humble. Be submissive then to God. . . . Come close to [him] and he will come close to you. . . .Humble yourselves before God and he will lift you up” (James 4:5–6, 8, 10, New English Bible;
emphasis added).

Isn’t that a tremendous thought? If we would not “lift” ourselves up with these cursed temptations of envy and pride, God would gladly step in and do the “lifting” for us! Only He can lift us up where He wants us and where we really want to be. We can’t get there by clawing or clamor, by cattiness or cutting others down. We certainly can’t get there by vaunting ourselves “up.”

Furthermore I believe with all my heart that this is a challenge we will face again and again. We should not be discouraged if the challenge returns tomorrow just when we thought we gave it such a good effort today. I say this out of the honesty, and experience, of my own heart. I struggle with these issues just as you do, and just as everyone does. So don’t give up hope and don’t think you are the only one who feels these things or struggles with these temptations. We all do, but every effort is a godly one, and every victory is counted for our good. And if we turn around to face the same challenge again tomorrow, so be it. We will work again, with all our heart, to strip away anything that keeps us from truly being “meek and lowly”—in all the right ways—before God. His grace is sufficient to help us succeed at that."- Patricia Holland

The "Comparison Culture"

Today one of the talks at church was about the dangers of comparing and competing with others... you know... frowning on others who "aren't as good as we are" or being filled with envy and jealousy towards those who are "better than us."


It's blatantly obvious that this illness plagues the media, we see it everywhere: in our music, T.V., online, magazines and advertising. It's everywhere! Can't we all just get along.

...But there is one place we tend to compete in that may be even more destructive than what we find in the media... it is in our own families and in our own churches. Yes, in the very places that should be the most reverenced and where love should abound the most is ironically the place where we often do the greatest amount of competing and comparing ... Why is that??

After church, I went home and settled in still thinking about the "comparison culture problem." "Why is that?" Why in our families and in our churches do we compare how someone gives a lesson better, speaks better, is more educated, sings better, keeps house better, has children that behave better, looks better, knows their scriptures better, prays better, serves better, smells better (my husband threw that in), you get the point.... we all do it... why is that?... especially in our churches where we know we need to love each other as the Savior did!


Images of people running a race came to my mind:
It's not a race against anyone... however it is a race against the clock to help, love, serve, come together and share the Gospel. But every once in a while I think we tend to think we are racing each other.

I imagine anywhere you get a high volume of people striving for the same goal there is a tenancy to think linearly….that we are in a race against each other….some “ahead of us” and some “lagging behind.”

Linearly we all start in the exact same spot at the exact same time with the exact same path. This is the problem with thinking linearly.... we all come to God at different times in our lives and in our own unique way. We have all face different challenges in our circumstances and in ourselves... we are not "cookie cutter" people

Since Christ is at the center of our lives, and the center of this Church… it only makes sense that the goal we are trying to achieve is centrically focused and not linear. Centrically, so as we strive towards the same “Goal” we grow closer, we pull together… no matter what direction we are coming from, how many times we fall, or how fast or slow we run.

A centrically focused goal allows us to be more unified.... we all start at different points, at different times and have very different paths that get us there, it is expected that our paths are different it is more beautiful this way... and as we press forward we come together and become unified in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I thought the closing hymn went extremely well with the message too. I've sung it before but this time it seemed new to me. #281 The words pressed so deeply on my soul, “Fill my mind with understanding; Tune my voice to echo thine. Touch my hand with gentle friendship: Warm my heart with love divine.”

Eyes of Truth

I listened to a talk by President Monson the other night and he quoted the second poem I have posted here. I loved it!! Wow it is so amazingly true! This first poem is just another one I found that I think goes perfectly well with the second. It is so humbling for me to read such truths. I plead and pray for the Lord to help me see my brother through the eyes of truth, to focus on the good and to have the beam removed out of my eyes so I can see clearly.

God Bless You!

Alicia

R.L. Stevenson who once said:
"There is so much good in the worst of us,
And so much bad in the best of us,
That it ill-behoves any one of us,
To find any fault with the rest of us,"

Bolton Hall once remarked:

"I looked at my Brother
with the Microscope of Criticism,
And I said: "How coarse my Brother is!"
I looked at him through the
Telescope of Scorn
And I said: "How small my Brother is!"
Then I looked in the Mirror of Truth
And I said: "How like me my Brother is"

"Lest Bitterness Trouble You"

To put off bitterness, jelousy, resentment and self pity is not any easy task ... but we must put it off!! We must put it onto Christ's shoulders, for that is what He is there for. Only when we turn it over to Him will we ever be at peace.

Today I was listening to a few talks from Elder Neal A. Maxwell, of the Quorum of the 12 Apostles, and this part really stood out to me... so I thought I would share it:

"Paul warns those of us on the path of discipleship to be diligent, "lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you" (Hebrews 12:15). Travel on the straight and narrow path occurs in company with other disciples, imperfect as we all are. Side by side, as we all are, means that there are ways in which we can become offended or even embittered. Given the imperfections of all of us in the Church, offenses will come and disappointments will occur. How we handle these is so crucial. We must be quick to prune any personal sprig of bitterness so that our wills can be truly swallowed up in the will of the Father. When we put off the natural man and the natural woman, we put off jealousy, resentment, and self-pity."- Elder Neal A. Maxwell